Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

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Lemon Limes or Lime Lemons

It’s been almost nine years since we moved to California. A move that was never part of the greater plan, but a plan that we’re so grateful happened. Shortly after we arrived we bought our first citrus tree, a Key Lime Tree. So excited we put it in a big pot, set it in the sun and waited for it’s fruits.

IMG_3293We waited, and waited, no fruit, just pretty little white flowers. It’s not hot enough here to grow Key Limes. So we bought a Lemon Tree. We put it in a big pot, set it in the sun and waited for it’s fruit.

IMG_3289After our first harvest of three lemons, we figured it needed a brother. So we bought our first Lime Tree. We put it in a pot, set it in the sun and waited for it’s fruit.

The first year I picked a beautiful green lime, cut it open and bit down with great expectations. It was disgusting! Bitter, dry, with a thick rind. Each year I let them get a little bigger but it never helped. IMG_3292

This year I forgot about them. It actually rained here and we were so busy watching the radar that I let my sad lime tree go.

One afternoon I walked to be the back corner of the yard to sit in a rare appearance of the sun when I noticed my sad green limes were turning yellow. “What the….?”

I let them go another month or so and to my great dismay, all my little green, thick rind limes, grow to enormous size and all turned yellow.

Go figure, it’s been a lemon tree all this time and we’ve been forcing it to be a lime.

There’s a really deep amazing life lesson there, but you’re smart enough to figure it out.

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Margins

The term marginal has been used a lot lately. Typically it’s used to describe those who are different, or have specific needs, who are not the norm. There is a very distinct group of people that come to mind when I think of those who are marginal.

If I step back and look at all the people who could be classified as marginal, it’s the majority of the world. It’s much easier to describe those who aren’t marginal, that would to be white, males, who think they make a lot of money.

A short time ago, someone listed women in their list of marginal people and I was taken back. “Hmmm, never thought of it that way, but I guess you are right.” And for two weeks I began seeing myself as marginal. I was discriminated against, I had less career options, I wasn’t born a boy…

It was for two weeks and only two weeks, because that’s how long it took me to want to throw in the towel, slit my wrists, and give up ‘cause I was born a girl.

Enough with that! Other women may be marginal, but I’m not.

If you close a door on me, I’m exceptional enough to know you’re most likely not worth the trouble. If you say no, I’m intelligent enough to figure out another way. Stay in the box, what box? Boxes can become coffins.

I don’t intend to walk through this life carrying the MARGINAL banner. I most likely won’t spend much time fighting the cause either. I’m a doer. I’d rather create a life from which I can help others.  A life others want to be a part of. Some may says that’s marginal, but to me it’s the full page.

If you find yourself in one of those marginal categories, I would highly recommend that you step out of the margin and on to the page and begin writing your own story. You can be whatever you want, even a white, male, who thinks they have a lot of money.

The best part about writing your own story – you get to set the margins.

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Making Mojo

It’s a simple equation; negative energy fuels negative energy.  Doesn’t matter if it’s on opposite ends of an argument or coming from opposing opinions; negative energy fuels negative energy.

Remember your parents saying, “You can’t fight fire with fire!” This time they were actually correct. Fighting fire with fire –  usually creates a bigger fire.

I heard it explained that the reason the election went as it did was because both sides become so negative that the negative forces joined and became more powerful than the positive. We’re still feeling it. I can’t remember this much unrest since I was a kid watching the riots in the late 60s early 70s.

But it’s not easy to turn all this anger, frustration, and fear into something positive. That’s because there isn’t anything positive about anger, frustration, and fear. Allowing those emotions to control us is not only hurting us, it’s fueling the flames of the negativity we’re fighting against.

“WHAT! I’m not adding to it, I’m fighting it!!” I can hear you yell at me. If that makes you feel better,  go ahead and believe it. But it’s not true.

Even the peacefullest protest can add sparks if it’s done out of anger and resentment for what is, rather than a desire for good, justice, and what’s right.

So how do you balance negative energy? That’s also very simple, create positive energy. However, positive energy is not simple if you are drowning in the pool of muck of negativity. Just saying words that sound positive, when it really isn’t felt or believed, still equals negative energy.

“So basically we’re screwed and the whole world is falling apart and I need to buy guns to protect myself and build bomb shelters and stockpile food and stay home from work to watch the news and write nasty things on Facebook…” (I can hear your thoughts)

No! That’s what weird people do. When we find ourselves angry, fearful, and frustrated, it’s almost impossible to turn those situations positive. We have to be willing to unclench our hands, turn off our phones, change the channel,  ask our diner guest to leave, and begin thinking on things that are good, that make us happy, go to happy places where we find joy.

Once we do – we must STAY THERE for as long as possible. Why? Because we are creating positive energy. Positive energy, no matter how, or where, or what it’s created for, is the only way to defuse the negative powers that seem to be taking control right now. And the longer you stay in that awesome, fabulous, joyous state, the more energy we create and smaller the pile of muck becomes.

So let’s stop allowing yourself to be sucked into the muck! How about letting go and thinking on  things that are good, pure, holy, fun, loving, beautiful, exciting, energizing, abundant, adventurous, joyous, motivating, magical, wonderful,…

Create some positive mojo and watch the negative lose it’s power!

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Cause that’s all we got, right?

Perhaps this election is much more than who won. Perhaps it’s a wake-up call to show us the true state of our nation and that there is still a lot to be done to ensure all who call it home are free.

Maybe it’s to teach us that we really don’t believe the words written on the Statue of Liberty. Bring us your poor… They sound nice, they make us look empathetic, but we’re out of date, we aren’t guided by them any more.

Maybe it’s to shine a light on the fact that although we try to be politically correct when speaking about women and women’s rights, the acceptable language in the locker room is more exciting and sexy, and given a choice, most are more comfortable listening to it.

Maybe it’s to remind us that it’s not the popular vote that wins, rather the electoral.

Maybe it’s to show us that even when we nod in agreement that we love and accept those who are different from us, most really want everyone to be the same; white, straight, employed with health insurance.

Maybe it’s to prove that we still live in a world where the old, fat, white guy, who trades in his women for new models every so often, is disrespectful, arrogant, ignorant, and wealthy, can convince half the country he’s the right man.

In a text this morning, someone wrote; I’m going to stay focused on love and hope, cause that’s all we got, right?

Right! But never think of LOVE AND HOPE as the consolation prize. It has the power to change lives, to heal, to restore. LOVE AND HOPE keeps us from being sucked into the muck. Keeps us looking up. Keeps us excited about our future. Keeps us believing in a greater power. Allows us to forgive. Drives us to move forward. It calms our fears.

Love and hope, hope and love, it may be all we got – but it is all we really ever need!

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The Unleavened Life

“There’s nothing more tiresome as listening to wealthy people complain about all they have to do to care for their wealth.” It should be a line from a movie, but it’s not. It doesn’t even come up as a quote on Google. I know, I checked.

slo-austynelizabeth008I figure if you are smart enough to acquire all that wealth, then you are certainly smart enough to figure out how to take care. Unfortunately, this assumption is rarely accurate.

Our family celebrates Passover each year. We do it for a couple of reasons; one is that we are part Jewish, or at least hope we are. The other is that we love the deep heritage that comes with the Jewish culture.

There is a point in the seder meal that touches me deeply. It’s centered around the matza bread. Matza is similar to a big flat cracker.

The simple Jewish translation goes like this: The Jewish people were waiting for God to free them from Egypt. They were so ready, and knew for certain that it was going to happen, that they didn’t put any rising agents in their dough BECAUSE when God said ‘GO!’ they couldn’t wait for their bread to rise. Thus they ended up with a big flat cracker called matza.

Life is so like bread. The more complicated the recipe, the more ingredients it needs, the longer it takes to make, to rise, and to bake.

When we live complicated lives, we miss so many opportunities. We wish we would be called to do great things, but if the call came, we’d have to let it go to voice mail and retrieve it when we had a minute to breathe, or next week.

It takes all of our energy to manage our responsibilities, debts, belongings and relationships. It’s exhausting, possibly even more so than listening to someone complain about it. There are amazing opportunities that cross our paths daily and we’re too preoccupied to see them.

An unleavened life allows one to answer the call, go when needed, grab an opportunity as it appears. A uncomplicated life gives time to appreciate the world around us. Freedom to enjoy the pleasures of life (without the drain of caring for them).

And when God says ‘Go!’ or “Now!’ or ‘Here it is, just what your were waiting for!’ – those living an unleavened life are ready, willing and able.

The unleavened life, it’s like a big flat cracker that goes anywhere you wish to go.

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You can tell a lot….

My husband always says you can tell a lot about a man when you meet his wife. I’ve alway thought this was an interesting observation. It’s one that has never disappointed.

Some encounters can be scripted and without interruption, go according to script, word for word. Others are surprising, shining a new light on a side of a man not seen in his professional life. Some encounters are disappointing – but not surprising.

In the very recent political arena, this statement holds true for not only the candidate but also those who support him. I’ve stayed far away from politics these last two years and must say I’m better for it. I have just as much insight with no baggage. I fear those who have followed it’s every moment will take years to rid themselves of the muck they’ve allowed themselves to walk through. I follow the election like I watched American Idle; start watching 6 weeks before the finally and pick the winner.

This last weekend I heard a lot of “WHAT?” “Who are these people?” “Are they insane?” “That’s not how all men are!” coming from my husband as he scrolled through his phone. After two years of me rolling my eyes, putting my finger to my lips, and making the hand motions of a puppeteer shutting up her muppet, the one sided conversations ended with his comments.

I would like to think we’ve come a long way, but maybe that’s just in our heads.

Last week this was posted and it made me sad, because it shined a light on reality:

Imagine a woman who showed up (to a presidential debate) unprepared, sniffling like a coke addict and interrupting her opponent 70 times. Let’s further imagine that she’s had 5 kids by 3 men, was a repeated adulterer, had multiple bankruptcies, paid zero federal taxes and rooted for the housing crisis in which many thousands of families lost their homes. Wait…there’s more: she has never held any elected office in her life.      – Michelle Vitalione

You can tell a lot about a man when you meet his wife. You can tell more about a country when you meet the candidates running for election.