Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

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Spa Platters

This past weekend I heard someone speak the mundane moments in life. In fact, Ben said that it is just possible that those mundane moments are holy moments. It was a thought that resinated with me. They were words that made the wells of my eyes fill… 

She stuck her head in the doorway and asked, “Almost finished? Want to check out the lake?” 

“Sure,” I said. 

Thirty minutes later 4 humans, 1 paddle board, and a newly acquired blow-up kayak were heading toward the lake. A clear 85 degree day accompanied by a warm breeze gave us a beautiful backdrop for paddling around.

“Let’s head over there,” I said pointing to what was either a small sand dune or the whitest stone-face ever. We paddled, talked, and laughed as we made our way to the shining white shoreline. Emery was the first out of the kayak and headed up the hill with Liam close behind.

“Is it sand?” I asked. 

“No, it’s sandstone. Let’s go exploring.” 

I watched as a mom and two kids begin their ascent into the unknown and the words, mundane moments are holy moments filled my head and the wells of my eyes filled again…

After returning from the lake adventure Emery asked for a spa appointment. “I think there’s room on the schedule for you,” I said, “but I’m hungry, how about if we have a spa platter today.”

A while back I was asked to help Emery with her shower. “Yep,” I said, “I believe there is room on the schedule for one spa appointment.”

Spa appointments happen regularly now. Complete with shampoo, conditioner, body wash and face scrub. Emery holds the shower head and I do the lathering. We giggle, laugh and comment on beauty supplies and how it’s amazing that the best spa in the world is in my bathroom!

We finished our spa treatment and climbed up on the stools that sit around the piano bar. Our spa patter was filled with cheese, crackers, blueberries, chocolates and nuts. Em and I ate, talked, and laughed. The words, mundane moments are holy moments filled my head and the wells of my eyes filled again….

There are so many voices shouting fear, anger, resentment, and paranoia. You don’t have to go far to find someone claiming “God’s anger!” Or “This is all made up.” Or “It’s my right!” We watch as  numbers keep climbing, counting lives that are no longer with us. Number that are expected to soar and our only defense is to stay at home. 

BUT home is where mundane happens the most. Home is where mundane resides. Mundane is where holy is found. It’s when we are most available. When we are listening in the quiet. It’s when ideas, inspiration, and peace are able to consume us.

This season of life that we find ourselves in has taught me to love mundane moments. My mundane radar is working overtime. I now run toward them instead of avoiding them. I know they are special and I want to flood my life with them. 

Whether it’s 2 months or 2 years away, life will return and we’ll be free to fill us our schedules, drive our cars, and get back to busy. I’m going to spend this time practicing the mundane. I never want to be so busy that I have to look for it. I intend fill my days with as many holy moments as I can possibly cram in. 

Check these out if you want to listen to some great messages on dealing with our New Normal and Mundane Moments.


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That’s Not Evil!

Today I was searching for information about the book Girl, Wash Your Face by a young woman named Rachel Hollis. This is a best-selling book which I’ve seen but know very little about. I found what I was looking for and read about this best-seller. In my search, I also found a blog that was warning against this book.

Now my curiosity was sparked, “What could possibly be wrong with a book that encourages women to stop believing the negative things they’ve been told about themselves and focus on the good?” As I read through the warnings of the evil dangers in positive thinking, accepting others who are different than you, and dreaming big, I thought, “Hmmm, according to this definition of evil – I’m really, really bad!?”

Earlier this week I had seen a facebook post about evil that also caught my attention. It pointed out the danger of accepting what was once evil, making laws in favor of it, and so on and on and on.

This made me wonder, Who’s deciding what is Evil? Is there an Evil Meter? Or questionnaire? Is there an Evil Council that listens to individual cases and passes judgement?

I’m a preachers kid with almost 60 years of watching the definition of Evil change. When my mom was young, cards, movie theaters, and bingo were Evil. When I was a kid, dances, rock music and drinking were Evil. Before the 90s, divorce was Evil. Recently a group who apparently sit on the Evil Council decided that the show Good Omens was Evil. That should have been my first clue of my Evil demise – I love Good Omens and watch it at least once a month. 

The definition of Evil has gone through a lot of revision…but has it really? Or have we lost what Evil really looks like. I believe the Holocaust was Evil. I think sending young men and women into crowded places with bombs strapped to their bodies is Evil. When a young person open fires on innocent peers, Evil is at work. I’ve watched drugs take over a person’s being and believed it to be Evil. 

It has never dawned on me that thinking good thoughts, desiring to live joyfully, accepting those who aren’t like me, offering love unconditionally, or finding one’s potential had Evil connections. I guess that is because – they don’t. 

However, diminishing the heaviness of what defines Evil to include differences of opinions or beliefs or life choices also diminishes the weight of the consequences of Evil – and that may just possible be Evil at its finest. 

Check out my latest release; Caffeinated! Stories from behind the counter of your local cafe.

Dear to my heart: please read: Raun’s story

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Love Well

Our adventures with a 17 year-old has come to an end as abruptly as it began. A week that started with the old escape through the window ended with uncovering text messages from mom which provided the address of the AirB&B she had arranged, delivery of food and plans to drive to California to take her home. These empty promises combined with a week long Meth high ended with yet another arrest and orders to return to the courts in Colorado.

We are left with broken hearts, numbness, sadness and a very clear understanding of just how broken our system is.

It would be so easy to slide into anger, but I admit I’ve lived there and it’s not a place I’ll ever choose to go back to. It would be easy to fall into the pit of regrets, but I have non – truly. What I’ve learned in the past 13 months could never be regrettable.

I’ve learned what loving unconditionally feels like, and it’a pretty amazing. 

I’ve discovered that Love is the core of all of us, some just haven’t discovered it yet. But that’s ok, because that’s what life is all about, discovering our true selves. Surprise, surprise – our true selves has nothing to do with our capabilities, it has everything to do with our ability to love.

Learning to love well may just be our soul purpose. I can’t imagine a higher calling or a more difficult one. Most of the time it challenges everything we know, everything we are and everything we do. 

I’ve been stretched, challenged, and changed in the past 13 months, and all for the good. 

Live, laugh and love well. Oh so simply – oh so complex – I’ll never live any other way.

 

Note to friends –

Many of you have been with us through the challenge to keep our Colorado Kids safe. After years of trying on our own, we felt the need to seek legal help. The results have been strong but the financial obligation is overwhelming. If you’d like to support financially, click here:  Raun’s story

 

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It’s Me!

“How do they find me? How do they always find me?”

This is one of my favorite lines from the movie The Producers. I’ve been known to say similar statements; Why does this always happen to me? Why am I stuck here again? I can’t deal with those people!

There was a time I thought if I did something differently, theywould go away. Perhaps if I never interacted with anyone, theycouldn’t find me.

Recently, as I found myself forced to face a situation I detest, I heard myself say, “Why is this happening again…” But instead of falling into the dark abyss of self-pitting and self-justification, I heard a new voice, one that said, “It’s not them, it’s you.” I knew that voice was right. That voice was speaking my truth.

Those people, the uncomfortable situations, the challenges and failures in this life, are magnifying glasses that identify areas within us that need attention, disconnections that can be fixed, hurts that are heal-able.

It is life’s way of saying,

Look over here, let’s fix this!

Remember this pain, let’s heal it.

You don’t have to be the victim, let’s take care of this.

 Somehow, we’ve turned self-discovery into a scary, life-long drama focused on our woundedness. When in reality, self-discovery can be an amazing adventure of healing that propels us into real life, the one filled with love and peace and ease.

If you are not quite ready to see it in your own life, look at someone else’s life, it won’t take long for you to begin to see the connections.

 But where is your magnifying glass pointing? Who are thosepeople and what are the situations that are uncomfortable? What always seems to be happening– again?

When you identify them, take a deep breath, pour yourself a glass of wine (or tequila) and spend time pondering. If it’s not them,then what is it inside me that’s screaming for attention, longing to be fixed, and aching to be healed. It’s really not a bad journey. It doesn’t have to be scary.

Remembering that it’s not them, it’s me turns you in the right direction. Once there, have the courage to keep walking. The journey will soon become one of self-discovery filled with healing, love, and wisdom. It becomes a life filled with wholeness – instead of one known for its’ woundedness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Learning to Dance

Author Jeannie Bruenning

It was one year ago today that I walked out of a Colorado Courthouse hand in hand with my new sidekick. We had prayed for that day and on that afternoon she was coming home with me for safe keeping.

It had been 16 years since we had a 16 year-old in our home. But how hard could it be? You take a kid from a troubled home with an abusive pass, whose every move has been in self-preservation, add love and whala – you turn it all around. 

Ha! It doesn’t work like that. Not in the least.

Tonight, our now 17 year-old young adult is embarking on the difficult journey of rehab. Drugs started out as her escape, then they took hold and now they are in control. 

As this week has unfolded, I’ve done a lot of thinking about this past year. I’ve learned so much. I have a new understanding of what families deal with when drugs enter their home. I know first hand the frustration of a broken system. I’ve felt the loneliness of hearing the words, “there’s nothing we can do to help.” 

But what I’ve really learned – is how to dance to the music that each day offers. Some days  we get to choose the tempo and style. Most days we have no control over any of it. 

The toughest days are when all you want to do is pass blame. When you wish someone would stand up and hold the world accountable, or at least the parent who abused or family member that turned a blind eye, or the social worker who was helpless.

Learning to dance isn’t easy, it requires learning to love – unconditionally. 

I read recently that our true self is simply love. Isn’t that beautiful. The core of who we are is love. When we offer the world our true self, we are offering them love.

It is then that our souls take over and we can dance our way through each day. Some days begin with hip-hop, turning to country and ending with jazz. Some days we get to do a soft shoe or the Charleston. Rarely does life play a waltz. 

Then there are the nights that a soft dirge fills the dark night and all you can do is keep loving.

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Patiently Anxious

Today we wait patiently and anxiously for a document to be completed. It’s a document that has been four months in the making and contains a life time of history. Decisions will be made on its content. Decisions that will alter the future and past of those it includes.

At times, our particular situation is all consuming, taking us to very low and lonely depths. It makes me imagine what it was like for those who’ve experienced horrific, life changing moments like sending a child off to war, receiving word that a loved one is missing, or from histories darkest times, watching government forces marching family and friends to unknown places.

How did they survive? I ask myself. How did they deal with the unknown, the fear, the hatred, the hopelessness, and the loneliness.  

It is also in these times that I question my own beliefs. Why doesn’t God fix this? I see the solution, can’t he? 

A week or so ago we received news that almost cost me my spiritual marbles. I closed myself in my bedroom, looked up to the sky and demanded, “OK, right here, right now, explain to me why this is unfixable! Why do you allow children to be hurt? Why don’t you do something when the answer is so easy? Why can’t you be THAT God!?”

I really didn’t want or need an answer. I’ve been working to understand this God thing most of my life. I knew what the answer was:

…because I AM...

I AM the Redeemer, not the preventer. Prevention is within your power. 

I AM in all people, everywhere – some just don’t know it yet. 

I AM the One who loves you – all of you – the same.

I AM the Healer and there is nothing that can or will happen to you that can’t be repaired.

I AM your Redeemer  and there is not a situation that can’t be used for good.

I AM

To be honest, I’m a little disappointed. I like the idea of a fix-it God and I like that pretense that God will make everything perfect. What I mean by perfect is,  the way I think it should be.

I know I’ve still got a lot to learn about God and how he works in our crazy, mixed-up, lives. But isn’t that what life is? Isn’t it a journey of learning, questioning, discovering, trusting and re-learning?

Today, I can wait patently and anxiously with a little deeper understanding. With that understanding, comes a deeper sense of peace.