Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

The movie Sleepless in Seattle has many great scenes. My favorite is when Meg Ryan and Rosie O’Donnell are watching An Affair to Remember. Meg is crying as she expresses her desire to experience this in her life. Rosie looks at her and says; “You don’t want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie.”

We do, don’t we? We want the romance, the sunsets, the flowers, chocolates and poetry. We want the magic. I’ve realized that most of us not only want to be in love in a movie, we want our lives to be movies; magical moments, fields of dreams and rainbows ends.

I’m sitting in the waiting room awaiting the arrival of our sixth grandchild. There is tension, uncertainty as our daughter was only 26 weeks into the pregnancy. Her water broke and there was nothing else to do but deliver the baby. There are many times I wish this was a movie. Cut, make-up, where’s the magic?

I find myself wanting to play out each scene in my mind; What if…. What will we say if…? How will we react? There is great drama in each scene. I’ve imagined my daughter and I as we embrace in sorrow and in celebration, trying to be prepared for either. Some of these scenes bring tears to my eyes. All of them make me very anxious.

A movie has a script. It has a person, or several, that spend time writing and rewriting the screenplay. The actors rehearse. The director chooses the exact angle to shoot each scene and if need be, each scene can be redone as many times as possible.

Life is not a movie. Life is full of moments, if we allow ourselves to experience them live, they bring all the magic one will ever need. If we dwell on what our reaction will be in a certain situation, we miss the live performance. In fact, as we waist precious time trying to imagine the script for the future, we are missing what is currently being acted out around us.

There is a great level of stress and anxiety in thinking about the future. I heard one person say that the future is God’s territory and He never invited us there. He asks us only to live for today.  It’s much more exciting to live in the moment.  Perhaps that is why such great comedy comes out of improv. Rarely is improv dramatic. Drama comes from well scripted work.

The next minutes, hours and days come with a ton of what ifs? But I’m not writing the script. Someone much bigger than I is in charge of that. With all my might I refuse to live in a movie, I’m going to simply live life.

I voted today, it’s my right as an American. I’ve been taught that it’s my duty as a responsible citizen. I’ve also been told that it’s my RIGHT as a Christian.  Right as a Christian? When did Christian’s get rights?  Did the Constitution of the US void biblical principal?  I’m having a difficult time finding “We the people” in the bible. And I’m quite sure Legislate Morality is not the Eleventh Commandment. You can’t legislate morality anyway. Morality comes from within; it is based on your beliefs, it’s is part of your character.

I did some research this morning, as I thought it was important to be able to back up my beliefs.  I found a humorous chapter in Ecclesiastes that made chuckle.  The last verse of chapter 10 made me stand up and shout:

²⁰ Don’t bad-mouth your leaders, not even under your breath,
And don’t abuse your betters, even in the privacy of your home.
Loose talk has a way of getting picked up and spread around.
Little birds drop the crumbs of your gossip far and wide.

 

I found a another group of verses in Romans;

[13:1] Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment.

For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God.

Go figure, God’s still in control. Maybe this country doesn’t have a moral issue, perhaps the Christians who feel they have a rights just have a trust issue.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could make a law that requires people to trust God and be respectful. That would be fantastic!  Oh wait, there is one…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself… just when I think God needs my help in legislating morality, I find out He has it all covered.

As we sat on the front porch watching the sunset, which by the way was fabulous, we were discussing a new author who we have fondly nicknamed Glowboy.  With so many references to the word GLOW, I began singing “Glow Little Glow Worm”, a song I learned in my early teens. My husband joined in and we sang one of the few duets we will ever sing. As we got to the end of the song, Austyn, our daughter, looked at us as if we had lost it.

“Are those the word to the song?” she asked.

“Yes.” I said confidently, “It’s what we were taught.”

I started the lyrics again, Jeff promptly joined me and Austyn shook her head and laughed.

Glow little Glow Worm glimmer glimmer

I know a guy that could be slimmer

Teeth bashed in and hair peroxided

In the moonlight he’s cross eye-ed

Ruffles on his panties

Blowing in the breezes

Just to show off his knock-kneezes

But I don’t care what people say

I love _(enter the name of your true love)_ anyway.

I figured I should do some research since I was now questioning myself.  I wanted to confirm what I had learned was accurate. Come to find out someone sold me the wrong lyrics. I’ve read the history of the song, listened to a few YouTube renditions. The real words are a bit odd, actually a little boring. It’s funny that I think the real lyrics are odd.

This made me wonder how many other wrong lyrics in life I have been sold.  I’m guessing several. I am aware of hundreds that I have had to research, rethink and relearn. I am certain that I will be sold many more. I can’t stop it from happening. I can’t stop believing. I can’t become one of those individuals who are unable to trust anyone; who are suspicious, assuming everyone is out to get me.

What I can do is a little research and decide for myself what is true. If I don’t do that, I am the fool who blindly believes. There is no rule that says I have to believe what is true. I can believe what I want; but in doing so I become the fool.

As far as “Glow Little Glow Worm” is concerned, I choose to be foolish. I like the lyrics I was sold. I called my mother and asked if she remembered the lyrics and she did, but they were the real ones. She pulled the parent excuse, “I did not know you were singing it that way.” I called my sister to have her sing the song to me. She also was sold the wrong lyrics.

The wrong lyrics made us laugh. The fact that they aren’t real made us laugh more. I’m sticking with the wrong lyrics. There are too many things in this life that do matter; areas in our life that we can’t be foolish. “Glow Little Glow Worm” is not one of them.

This little company I’ve created, is forcing me to face something I never thought was achievable. Perfection. I am in no way a perfectionist. In fact, I assume since people are involved with everything we do in life, there will always be a flaw. The fact that it is impossible to eliminate human error has helped me to focus on what has been achieved rather than what went wrong. I’ve never  been one to strive for perfection, excellence but never perfection. Perfection is unattainable as long as humans are involved.

I have been waiting almost 20 years to see a children’s manuscript of mine in print. It’s had a few rewrites, a handful of illustrators attempting to give it life. The completed book, Mr. Hobbins’ Beautiful Things arrived yesterday for my proofing. “It’s perfect, we don’t need to change a thing,” I told my designer. I excitedly handed it to my husband to read. Half way through the book he noticed a speck on one of the pages. “What’s that?” he inquired. “Nothing. Ink,” I responded. “No. It’s something,” he assured me.

Later in the evening I forced myself to look at the speck that had passed me by. It wasn’t just a speck. It was a single quotation mark floating on the far left side of the page. That can’t be, I thought, it must be a mistake on the printers end. I went back to the PDF on my computer, opened to page 14 and there is was. It sat right next to the three little specks on my dirty computer screen. A single quotation mark. Not close to any others. Not close to any illustration. Hanging out there all by itself creating imperfection.

Thinking of the chain reaction this single quotation mark was going to have, I honestly asked, “Do we have to fix it?” “Of course you do,” was my husband’s reply (he is a perfectionist, although he claims to go through life with low expectations, he’s much happier when it’s perfect). It took me a while to see the humor in this situation. This morning it is very humorous. In fact that floating single quotation mark has opened the door to make a few additional changes, making Mr. Hobbins’ just a little more perfect.

I expect the longer I’m in this business the better I’ll become at finding imperfections. I’m still striving for excellence, not perfection. No matter how many times I look, or how many eyes I have helping me, there will always be a single quotation mark floating on the perimeter that will force me ask, “Do I have to fix that?” Hopefully, I’ll always have someone close by to answer, “Of course you do.”

There are times in life when we feel as if we are being tested. It happens in our jobs, our family, in our relationships and in life. It is referred to as being tried, tested, put through the fire. It is those times when life doesn’t seem to be going your way; when you have to talk yourself into getting out of bed in the morning; when you feel as if the bottom has dropped out.

We all experience these times. Some of these situations are simply a consequence to our own decisions. Some are the consequences of others and somehow we have become part of the cast of characters. Sometimes it truly is a test, a growing experience, a lesson needed to be learned.

At the conclusion of these times there are two basic results; we either emerge changed or charred. When we emerge changed the entire world can see the difference. WE can see the difference. We’ve learned, grown, and feel a huge sense of accomplishment.

Emerging charred is also very obvious. We are defeated, depressed, afraid and most of the time angry. To be very honest, we also stink a little. The smell of being charred is not easy to hide and it has a tendency to stink up the world around us. The only way to get rid of this odor is to re-enter the fire.  I’ve been around people who have seemingly lived their life in the fire. It only takes a few moments for the soot and ash starts to rub off.  It takes effort to rid yourself of someone else’s stench.

Emerging changed or charred is our choice. No one makes it for us. If we choose to be changed, it is likely that we will not experience this test again. If we do, we will know how to handle it. If we choose to emerge charred, we will certainly experience the same test again. Each time the test increases in intensity. Each time it takes more effort to get through it. If we once again emerge charred, our stench also intensifies.

What are the signs that you are charred? You will say things such as: Why does this always happen to me? Here I go again. I hate when this happens. No matter what I do, things never change. I feel like I’ve been stuck for years.

When you hear these words coming out of your mouth, STOP! Take a close look at what is happening around you and ask the simple questions, “What do I need to learn?” If you can’t answer that question, ask someone around you. They’ll be able to tell you. In fact, they will be happy to tell you. The truth in, you stink a little and they would like the stench to go away.



A man returned home after a day of golf, looking a bit more tired than usual, his wife ask how the day went.  He replied, “It was the longest game ever. Harry had a heart attack on the third hole and for the remained of the game it was, hit the ball drag Harry.”

I’m not a golfer, I’ve never attempted. I think perhaps I would enjoy it. I’m guessing that by the fifth or sixth hole my party would be asked to leave because our uncontrollable laughter would be causing others to be distracted.

I do understand the stress of hitting the ball and dragging Harry. I’ve been dragging Harry for approximately 45 years. Harry has taken on many personalities; hoping people will like me, be proud of me, want to be with me, see how smart I am, be my friend, or simply just not leave me…the list is endless.

This has been a year of letting go. Last week I realized that I wasn’t dragging Harry around. I dropped him a few holes back. It’s a wonderful feeling. I think this is what is referred to as being FREE! The sad thing is that Harry didn’t ask for me to drag him around. After all he was unconscious most of the time and would have appreciated if I had asked for help many years ago.

I can spot people a mile away who are dragging their own Harrys. They are tired, frustrated, sarcastic, depressed and searching desperately for that perfect golf course where they’ll win the colored jacket so they can feel, in some way, validated. See I know a little about golf, although I would never give a green jacket to someone. What fun is green?

The longer I live without the strain of dragging Harry the more I like it! I like it so much that I promise never to drag Harry again. I even like it to the point that when I pass others dragging their own Harry, I will let them know that they don’t need to be dragging him around.

Hopefully, some will listen and leave Harry with someone who can help him. And maybe those of us who have found this new freedom will play a round of golf together. I’m guessing that we will be asked to leave before we make the third hole…you do a lot of laughing when you are free!