Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

I typically hear people use this phrase when they are expressing joy about an event where the unexpected happened, or when everything seemed to fall into place, or when it felt as if something supernatural got involved… It’s a God thing.

I thought a lot about this statement during those months that Emery was in the NICU. As Emery consistently overcame the challenges put before her, we heard a lot of; “God answers prayer” and “It’s a God thing”. To be honest, it bothered me. Did this positive attitude toward God exist because Emery was pulling through? What about the little one who slept in the bed next to her for two days that didn’t make it, was that not a God thing too?

I don’t believe for a moment that Emery is doing well as some reward of having a lot of people praying. I believe Emery is doing well because she and God have something going on; I for one can’t wait to see what that is. As I get older, prayer has become less and less about what’s going on around me and more and more about what’s going on inside me. My prayer during those months was simply, “Thy will be done AND make us willing to accept YOUR will.”

It’s a God thing. ..isn’t it all a God thing?

In my search for lyrics of songs that really don’t exist, these are two that I recall my mother singing when I was a kid. Mom grew up in Chicago in the 30’s and 40’s. I believe they were passed down to her by her granny-gran.

A Little Fly

Oh, a little fly flew in the grocery store,
He sat on the counter and he sat on the floor-
He sat on the sugar and he sat on the ham,
And he sat on the nose of the grocery man!

I Sat on a Tack
I sat on a tack and oh what a whack
I got on my back from sitting on the tack.
With a whim, wham wangle and a strim, stram strangle,
Oh, babalow, pretty boy, over the bree.
(Kinda say “over da bree” with a nasal slurred voice.)

Next search: I’m looking over my dead dog Rover – it’s truly a show stopper.

I don’t know when I became emotionally attached to money. I’m not sure if I really want to dig down deep to figure it out. I do know somewhere it happened; money, whether it’s in abundance or lack has always been emotional.

This became very apparent recently while I was visiting my son. I was there in hopes of being some assistance to this newly single dad of 4; appointments, meetings, and school schedules fill his days. Financially, this little family should be fine. That is, they should be fine if all the money due him actually gets to him. This particular day, the theme seemed to be “it may be your money, but someone else is using it.”

That evening, I made my way outside for a walk. I felt as if I was agonizing. In all that had transpired over the last 6 crazy months of my life, I had not felt this level of frustration.  A question came to mind; what about this bothers you the most? My answer; the money.  I stopped walking. REALLY?  The money?

During these past 6 months, I’ve seen miracles. I’ve witnessed the impossible happen and at this moment I am concerned about money?!?!? I wanted to fall to my knees. It’s just money. It isn’t a form of approval or disapproval. It isn’t a sign of security or abandonment.  My emotional connection to money – disconnected at that moment.  It’s just money…and it’s about time I began treating it that way!

As for the life changing moments in our lives, those times when a part of us is totally set free, sometimes they take years and sometimes they are moments. There is no doubt when they happen. Life changes. My life has seemed to change so many times in the past two years – I’m starting to think of them as one big moment!

It’s no secret to those that know us that our last several months have been anything but uneventful. The other night I said,”We have so much to be grateful for.” My husband replied, “I know. Just think of where we could be.”

Where we could be? Let’s recap. In early November our daughter gave birth to a little girl, at just 25 weeks. Emery was born weighing just 1lb., 10 oz. Then came the waiting. Waiting for the heart surgeon to tell us how her surgery went, the neurologist deciding how to deal with the fluid in her brain and the four months she spent in the NICU.  In January we received a call from our son informing us that his wife had just been arrested for domestic violence. What followed was an eviction notice, repossessions, court dates and child custody hearings – this was all in a short three months. I think we’ve been a lot!

I’ve learned so much through these experiences. Close to the top of the list is the lesson of waiting. It’s not my nature to wait. I’m a fixer, jump right in and solve the problem. I don’t jump anymore.  Nope, my jumping days are gone. I sits. It didn’t take me long to figure out what “sits” stands for; I Sit In Thy Stillness. It kind of goes along with, Be still and know that I am God. So I sits.

Just a few days ago I was on the phone with my sister discussing some exciting promotional opportunities for her children’s books. We were excited and nervous, not sure what would work and what we needed to leave on the table. In all the excitement Sue said, “We have to sits!” Yep, we had to sits. Guess what, we didn’t have to decide what to take on and what to leave behind. While we were sits-ing it all fell into place.

I stood watching for the big tsunami this morning. As I listened to the multitude of cell phone conversations going on around me, it was clear that most of those who had joined me were tourists.  Some were excited, some were concerned, some thought they were seeing much more than was actually happening, and some were making their getaway plan…just in case.

There was one lady in particular whose phone conversation caught my attention. “I’m here on the beach. NOTHING’S HAPPENING! They said it would be here around 8:15, it’s already 8:30 and I don’t see anything!”

I had to chuckle. Of course she didn’t see anything, she wasn’t really watching. I saw the tide go out farther in 15 minutes than it is does during low tide in August, when the tide is at its lowest. I saw waves breaking far out on the horizon, a rarity. I saw the waves begin to make their way back in and create high tide in a short 10 minutes. I also realized that I was seeing the beautiful side of this tsunami; just hours ago, others observed its devastation.

“NOTHING’S HAPPENING?” Maybe you’re not watching, maybe you’re talking too much, maybe you’re expecting more than is ever going to happen.  Maybe if you would stop and quietly watch, you too could see something beautiful in what once was devastating.             Hmmmmm…sounds a bit like life, doesn’t it?

I’ve assisted family members as they began the process of cleaning out, downsizing, and organizing their stuff. I enjoy it. Yes, there are times I would like to throw them in the dumpster with their crap, but there is a great feeling when a once full, unorganized, messy area becomes clean, clear and livable.  My sister and I have talked about starting a company that helps people get organized. We never came up with a great name for the company, however I came up with our motto; We make your shit look attractive.

I love that motto. I think it describes what drives us most of our lives. The entire marketing world is based on that concept. Most managers are challenged to accomplish this for the company that employs them. A great sale person excels in this area.

When we find ourselves in a situation where we have to be honest, to tell the truth, or when we feel the need to come clean, we are driven to make our confession as ‘nice’ as possible. Making our screw-ups sound as ‘good’ as within our power to sound; finding all the reasons and outside forces that cause us to act in such a way.

Once you realize the humor in this behavior, you begin to see it everywhere. If you haven’t been aware of it, take a listen.  Making shit look attractive takes very little talent, but those with experience in this area are very entertaining.