Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

Recently, Suze Orman, the blond financial wizard (classy description isn’t it), has been speaking about the new American Dream. The concept intrigues me, in fact it excites me. According to Suze, the old American Dream of more, more, more is dead.  If you don’t agree, just look at the corpses lying around your neighborhood.

There is a statement that Suze has introduced into our vocabulary, “Stand in your own Truth”; simple interpretation, accept your reality. If you can’t afford to buy a home, that’s OK. That is your truth and you need to own it or stand in it. If you have huge debt, own it and work to get out of it.

I believe that “Stand in your Truth” relates to every part of our lives. We spend so much time trying to change our situations, cover up faults, attempt to hide our secrets, looking for the great escape. There is a huge freedom that comes with Standing in our Truth. Perhaps it comes from the honesty it takes. Perhaps it comes from not hiding in the closet.

Stand in your Truth is accepting the realities of your life.  It doesn’t require others to stand with you. It doesn’t require anyone to pass judgment. It doesn’t require approval.  Why? Because it’s yours. Good or bad, beautiful or ugly, stinky or fragrant, it’s yours. Until you stand in it, you will never be able to change it.

I heard this statement quoted frequently growing up in the church.  It typically was used when criticisms were flying around. I think a lot of us heard it. The problem that I have begun to be aware of, is that used incorrectly, this statement prevents us from making sound judgments about things that are truly wrong or for that matter, harmful.

If I see a person who is doing something wrong (and by this I mean an act that is clearly evil) as soon as I compare myself to them and say,”I am no better,” I not only lose the perspective of what is evil but I also lower my opinion of myself, which for most who think this way isn’t very high to begin with. I wonder if this philosophy has contributed to the amount of abuse in our world; individuals not only feeling victimized but also feeling unworthy.

There exists another element in all of this; we know that everyone is redeemable. However, does seeing the good in everyone prevent us from holding people accountable? Accountable…I don’t recall hearing that term growing up, especially in church.

Is that the connection? “Judge not” used incorrectly prevents accountability?

The table was set. Yarmulkes were worn. The wine was poured and the Seder began. Finger puppets told of the ten plagues. Blessings were read and questions asked. Matzah was broken and parsley dipped.

When it was time for the meal to be served, the lamb was amazing. The rum soaked raisins made the Apple Kugel  taste fantastic. The cardamon made the rice seem like a new creation.

This years Seder differed from all the others. Around our table were eight adults and five children. Two of these children were in high chairs and one went between being held and swinging in her sing. The two-year old cried when we read in unison.  So each unison reading was done with big smiles and cheerful voices, it didn’t help.The five year old decided he wasn’t hungry shortly into the festivities and headed back out side to play. The Rugrats episode of Passover played telling the Passover story in a whole new way.

Rabbi Hoppie (Grandpa Jeff) lead us in this years Seder. It was crazy. It was noisy. It was interrupted when bottles needed to be made or diapers changed or children in need of rescuing from the big furry dog (or the other way around)…all in all it was a huge success and the best one ever!

There is an empty cup sitting in the middle of the table and an empty chair at the table. Both of these are reserved for Elijah.  Towards the end of the Seder we pour another cup of wine, this makes #4 and yes, you can handle it. We pour another cup and set it in the middle of the table—it’s for Elijah the Prophet.

It is now tradition to send the youngest male to open the front door to welcome Elijah. Our son Raun was the youngest male for a bit, but as we included friends and family in our Seder, this responsibility moves from child to child. This year Chase, Raun’s son and Liam, our daughter’s two year old will be assigned this task together.  I’m expecting that Liam will walk out the door given half the chance.

Why Elijah? Elijah the prophet comes to announce the imminent arrival of the final Exodus. This night is a night of protection. This night, we are not afraid of anything, for we are carried securely in His holy, gentle hand. We open the door in the middle of the night and we show that confidence, that deep trust that no harm will befall us. On that very first night of Passover in Egypt, we were redeemed on the merit of our trust that He would redeem us. Tonight, we will be liberated from this Egypt of the soul. Again, we must show our trust. Whatever He tells us to do, He does Himself. He told us to open our door on the night of Passover. So, tonight, He opens every door.

The conversation among the adults seating around the table is always the same during this act. Someone inevitably says, “What will we do if Elijah shows up?” Followed by, “Can I drink his wine?”

oy vey

My very favorite part of the Seder is reciting Dayenu. Dayenu means; it is enough for us.

DAYENU

How many favors has God bestowed upon us?

ALL

Had He brought us out from Egypt and not executed judgment against them,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He executed judgment against them and not destroyed their idols,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He destroyed their idols and not slain their first-born,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He given us their possessions, and not divided the sea for us,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He divided the sea for us and not brought us through it dry land,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He brought us through it dry land and not drowned our oppressors in it,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He drowned our oppressors in it and not sustained us in the wilderness forty years,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He sustained us in the wilderness forty years and not fed us manna,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He fed us manna and not given us the Sabbath,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He given us the Sabbath and not brought us to Mount Sinai,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He brought us to Mount Sinai and not given us the Torah,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He given us the Torah, and not brought us into the Land of Israel,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

Had He brought us into the Land of Israel and not built the Temple for us,

It would have been enough! DAYENU!

How much more so, multiplied many times, are the favors that God has bestowed upon us!

Leader

He brought us out from Egypt,

And executed judgment against the,

And destroyed their idols,

And slew their first-born,

And gave us their possessions,

And divided the sea for us,

And brought us through it dry land,

And drowned our oppressors in it,

And sustained us in the wilderness forty years,

And fed us manna, and gave us the Sabbath,

And brought us to Mount Sinai,

And gave us the Torah,

And brought us into the Land of Israel,

And built the Temple for us,

Where we could atone for all our sins.

As I recite this, I am changing the historical events with specific event in my own life. By the end of the prayer, I am so full of gratitude that I well up. You see, if God never does another thing for me – Dayenu – it is enough for me.

The exodus was not simply an event that happened to us. It is an event that we became. It is who we are. It is the life of each one of us, occurring again and again, in our wrestling match with the world, in our struggle with our own selves. We embody freedom in a constant mode of escape. Perhaps that is why Jews have always been the rebels of society, the ones who think out of the box. The experience of leaving Egypt left such an indelible mark on our souls, we never stopped doing it. A Jew who has stopped exiting Egypt has ceased to allow his soul to breathe.

To tell the story is to bring that essential self into the open, to come face to face with who we really are and resuscitate it back to life.

Why is there so much broken in this world? Why did the Cosmic Designer make a world where hearts break, lives shatter, beauty crumbles?

A whole vessel can contain its measure, but a broken one can hold the Infinite.

Matzah is called the poor man’s bread. He is low and broken. And it is this brokenness that allows him to open his soul and escape his Egypt.

As long as we feel whole, there is no room left for us to grow. It is when we realize we are but a fragment, that we need the others around us, that so much of us is missing — that is when miracles begin.                                                                                                                   Excerpts taken from www.chabad.org

This actually makes me want to raise a glass and toast Brokenness. Here’s to Brokenness! May we never feel complete!!!