Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

I was asked if I had noticed any difference in the events of the past week that may have been affected by the time I spent fasting. At first, I had a difficult time recalling any major events; there was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing out of the ordinary? Wait a minute…last week was full of out of the ordinary!

There were airplanes, fireworks, festivals, police, hospital, news reports, social workers and lawyers (details to follow). Apparently, the craziness of life was not removed by fasting. So what was different? Was there any sign that spending time fasting had made any effect on the week? YES – I was affected!! I lived through airplanes, fireworks, festivals, police, hospital, news reports, social workers and lawyers – and by the beginning of the following week, I felt as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

Fasting is about me. It’s about stopping and forcing myself to be quiet. It’s about eliminating the ordinary activity of eating to allow myself to be prepared to deal with the un-ordinary events in life. I’m sold! Feasting and Fasting are both important. Feasting comes in celebration. Fasting gives us something to celebrate.

The Events of the week:

Did you hear about the mom in Colorado who claimed Chili’s served alcohol to her three children? That’s my daughter-in-law, the same one that was arrested for domestic violence in January and lost custody of her children. Following the not-guilty verdict, she was awarded overnight visits. July 4^th was her second overnight and on the third overnight, she put the children in front of the TV cameras. The following day her visits were reduced to 2 hour supervised visits. Yes, there was anxiety, but along side of it was deep sense of knowing that all would be well.

I was on a plane at 6:30 am July 5^th, making my way to Wisconsin for the first event Silver Thread Publishing was to participate in. A year ago I was struggling with such fear and anxiety that I had to force myself to leave the house. My plane rides that day were effortless.

As we arrived at our event, the booth was not laid out as we had planned, the second booth could not be set up till the next morning and we were still unsure how transactions would be made. Four twelve-hour days followed; two performances on stage and thousands of people making their way past our booth.  A few moments of frustration, but nothing that couldn’t be overcome.

The week was full of out of the ordinary events. Big events! Events that could have sent me in a tailspin…but they didn’t. I wasn’t protected from the events; everything didn’t fall into place perfectly. However, I was different. I have changed. I was filled with peace. I didn’t anticipate what was going to go wrong, I was anticipating what was going to go right! I was eager to see what was going to happen next!

A few months ago I decided I wanted to understand fasting. I know a lot of religions practice it. When I googled it, I found a ton of sites recommending fasting to improve your physical health. Fasting always seemed to be this torturous event that made one look spiritual – I was hoping that my perspective was wrong.

I love the Old Testament story of Esther. She was the orphan girl who became queen and saved the entire Jewish population. There is the Fast of Esther which precedes the Feast of Esther – a celebration I love to participate in, the feast not the fast.

So my search to understand fasting began. I found a Jewish website that said a fast could be for 12 hours, sun-up to sun-down.  I figure in winter it must be less and in summer it could be more. It also said that if you needed to eat breakfast first you could. So I tried it for a day. It wasn’t as difficult as I thought. By the end of the day, I felt a bit more spiritual – or perhaps enlightened is a better word.

The following week I thought I would be brave and fast for 12 hours without having breakfast first. By 3:00 I was bent-over with stomach pains – I didn’t feel very holy.

After a few one day fasts, I began to realize that my concept of pleading with God to try to get Him to do what I wanted, is NOT the purpose of fasting. Fasting is God’s way of getting me to shut-up and focus. It is His way of telling me what He has planned.

Next week there is LOTS of stuff going on, I decided that I should take the big plunge and try a 3 day fast. I planned to set my alarm for 5:30am, make a quick breakfast and begin the day.

Day 1 – holy crap, was that difficult. I felt as if I had a huge black cloud hanging over me all day. I was overwhelmed with all the situations in my life that seemed to be just hanging there with no end in sight. I refrained myself from telling God what I wanted to see happen, I just let it all hang there.

Day 2 – woke up with a sense of excitement, don’t know why. Nothing really changed overnight. The situations were all still hanging there, but next to them was a sense of expectation. The first time I glanced at the clock it was 10:00am and I had finished what I planned would take my entire day.

The next 5 hours were filled with conversations that were amazing; each one creating more and more clarity and a deeper understanding of the situations facing me.

I always wondered how Queen Esther came up with her plan to save the Jews. I figured she came up with the plan and spent 3 days fasting to plead with God to make it happen her way. I was WRONG! She spent 3 days of fasting in order to find out what God had planned. How cool is that! How easy is that! We make it all so difficult.

It’s coming to the end of day 2. In a few hours I’ll be having dinner with my husband. I’m sure I will cry as I tell him about the amazing conversations I had this day – I’m tearing up already just thinking about it.

Tomorrow I plan to wake up at 5:30, have a little breakfast and wait to see what the day has in store. I must be honest, I can’t wait. I’m not expecting miracles to happen. In fact, I’m not expecting anything specific to happen. MAYBE that’s it!!! Maybe the excitement that I feel is based on knowing that the unknown is going to happen.  How weird is that???

January 9, 2011 changed our lives. We were well aware that our son’s home life was becoming more and more dangerous. He was desperately seeking an answer that would allow him to safely remove the children, and himself, from the situation. On January 9^th, after several visits from the police, his wife was arrested for Domestic Violence.

She was found not guilty of these charges; not because of the police testimony or the pictures of the scratches and bruises. There is a stigma that goes with these cases. Those on the outside can’t figure out how this happens; why don’t the men fight back? Why? Because the wise ones know – they risk being arrested.

There is another consequence caused by this stigma; there are very few services to assist men in this situation. The only option for our son was to head to the men’s homeless shelter, which doesn’t allow children. I’ve seen the struggle that it takes for a man to balance creating a new and safe place for his kids while trying to shuffle through the rubble left from a destructive relationship.

A small circle of friends have been talking about doing our part to change this stigma. We have the desire to start a non-profit to assist such men and their kids. Working closely with the police, social services and victim assistance, we would focus on the financial needs of those first 100 days.  What does that look like?

• Covering the hotel bill for a week so dad can get his kids out.

• Wal-Mart gift cards to buy formula, diapers, clothes and food.

• Covering babysitter costs so dad can begin counseling.

• Local restaurant gift cards to help provide meals.

•  It may even be a security deposit and first month’s rent for a new apartment.

Starting a non-profit is easy, maintaining it is difficult. BUT if it’s right, it’s right. If it’s right, it’s worth struggling to make it happen.

• If this strikes a chord with you, we’re open for donations to move us forward.

• If you’re a dad in this situation, seek outside help and begin the process of getting your kids free.

• If you’re watching a similar situation from the outside, start making some calls…if it’s right, it’s right!

We know what it will take – we’ve done our homework.  In July, we’ll be making our decision whether we feel this is the right time and if we are able to take on the additional responsibility.  If it’s right, it will start with a handful of people desiring to build an army; an army of people changing children’s lives, one family at a time.

This has been an odd week. On Monday I mailed my last unemployment form; tomorrow the final check will be arriving.  Eighteen months ago I left work, never to return due to my new allergy.  Since that day, I have found myself with a lot of time. Hopefully I have used that time wisely. We’ll see just how wise in a few weeks, I will be attending my first event in hopes of connecting with authors.

As far as the job market, well there are a few strikes against me. We live in California. We live in a town of 8,000; there are more people living and working at 900 N Michigan Ave, my last Chicago job – not a ton of opportunity. Oh yes, there is that coffee thing….I’ve yet to find a place that doesn’t serve, brew or allow consumption of coffee.

So this is what I would consider as the unknown. I used to hate the unknown – scared the crap out of me.  I’m not sure why I have this deep sense of excitement. Can’t explain why I feel like a kid getting ready for a new adventure.  Perhaps these past eighteen months has allowed me to do more than create a business plan for a publishing company. Perhaps I’ve learn to live for today and trust that God has tomorrow under control. If that’s the case, than this last eighteen months was the bestest school I ever attended.

Somehow my email address found it’s way on an email list of a woman who decided to start a writers group. If I do the 6 degrees of separation thing, I can connect us  – but it’s a big stretch. Anyway, I signed up and attended the first gathering. This in and of itself is quite impressive,  I was going to spend the evening with 11 women I had never met.  The all women and all strangers would have stopped me in my tracks a short while ago.

We went around the room sharing a bit about ourselves as it related to our writing. As luck would have it, I went last! As I listened to each women I heard things like, fear, I’ve always wanted to, I don’t take the time, I had this idea for 15 years…. After each one shared I wanted to give them a hug and say “I’ve been there!” It’s a humbling experience to come face to face with images of who you once were. I must admit I chuckled a few times today as I thought about it. You see, I feel as if I’ve watched the movie! I know how it ends!! It’s great and I can’t wait to watch this group of women cross the finish line!!!

Stories of King Nebuchadnezzar are found in the Old Testament. He was the king that tossed Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the fiery furnace. They didn’t burn and he proclaimed that their God (not his) was the true God. Sometime later he had a dream that warned him of coming events. If his life didn’t change, old King Nebie was going to experience what I call Field Life.

Things didn’t change and because of Nebie’s arrogance, he became animal like and spent 7 periods (days, weeks, months, years – yet to be decided) living out in the field like some sort of beast. This field just happened to be next to the palace so all his servants could see. After this time of Field Life, King Nebie made a profound statement:

Now, I( Nebuchadnezzar) praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, Whose works are all true and   Whose ways are just and Who can humble those who walk with arrogance.

Can humble those who walk with arrogance. I had to look up the word: arrogant  (ˈærəɡənt)   — adj having or showing an exaggerated opinion of one’s own importance, merit, ability, etc; conceited; overbearingly proud.

Arrogant people will experience Field Life. It’s a law of nature. Arrogance will not go unnoticed.

What does that mean for me? Don’t be arrogant!

What does that mean to those arrogant people around me? I don’t have to worry, it’s all taken care of…sometime –  some where they will find themselves living in the field.

Can you notice when someone is experiencing Field Life?  If you look closely you can.

Should I try to rescue them? NO!

Field Life has a purpose, you can’t stop it . . . but you can prevent it!