Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

My 23rd Psalm

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want  

(but I wanted a lot!)

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.

(I hated being still)

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness, For His name sake.  

(I need a lot of restoring!)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death  

(Why in heaven’s name do I have to go that way?)

I will fear no evil; for thou art with me;  

(If you were really with me, we wouldn’t be walking through this valley!)

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.  

(They are used to get my attention when I’m too close to the edge)

Thou dost prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

(This clearly happens when I find my field of clovers)

Thou hast anointed my head with oil 

(Some day I’m going to do something great!)

My cup overflows. 

(Someday my cup will overflow)

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life

(I envision 3 old ladies running around behind me.)

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever

(clearly this must mean heaven.)

We miss so much when we believe all good is in our future and that we have to be patient for it to come. Our good is in God and He has been here since the beginning.

Fire and Lions

Why did Daniel have to go into the Lion’s Den? Why the Shadrach, Meshech and Abednego have to go into the furnace? Why didn’t God save them? He could have…He can do anything! Right?

My husband Jeff has claimed for years that I live life looking for my field of clovers. I keep waiting and hoping for the day that there are no more struggles. The day when bad things stop happening. When children no longer suffer because of the stupidity and selfishness of adults. He was right! I do, or did.

Why did Daniel have to go into the Den? Why did the 3 brave young man have to experience the fire? Because it wasn’t about them, it was so much larger than that. It was about the need to change laws, to make new proclamation, to rid governments of evil men. These men understood that. They stood firm in their God saying,

If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. BUT even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship any other god. Daniel 3:17-18

Even if He does not…even if I never find that field of clovers, it doesn’t matter. God uses all things for my good. He has redeemed everything; it’s not future tense, its present. I don’t have to wait for it to turn to good, because I believe and trust in God, it is good!

My List

Two days before I started my fast, I made my list. It was a list of undefined, incomplete, unfinished issues in my world. At first I was thinking that it would be important to track these things to be able to record any changes at the end of my 31 days. BUT that isn’t the purpose of this fast. It’s purpose is to be able to verbalize what I have learned, not list everything I want to change.

This has been one a difficult lessons for me to learn:  Accepting life and changing what is within my power to change.  I’m an  “I can fix anything”  kind of person.

“Thou hast made us for thyself, and our souls are restless until they find their rest in thee.” ~ Augustine

Life is not about us; what we have or what we want or even what we hope for. We were created for God and until we come to that realization, nothing will ever be enough.  It is this truth that allows me to be completely satisfied.

Back in School – for the first time

Last August after I returned home from an extended trip – I was sick. Not physically, but mentally. I was sick of me. I was sick and tired of feeling as if I could not explain what or how I believe. I was 50 years old! When was I going to be able to verbalize what was in my head and heart?

I sat on the side of my bed and simply said, “God! I want You to teach me what is truth – show me all the stuff I do that isn’t right – and give me the words to be able to explain what is.” The next morning at 7:00 am I went back to school for the first time. God has challenged everything I ever thought I believed! Some we tossed out and some we built on. He has begun to give me the words to explain these beliefs, and the wisdom to shut up when I should.

It’s no secret that the last 4 years have been full of less than perfect events. We have a property stuck in Bank of America hell. Feel free to share our journey through the Banked in America Blog. Two years ago I left my career because of a bizarre allergy which continues to affect me every day. Our granddaughter, Miss Emery is doing great, but she still has a way to go. And our Warrior Son continues to fight his battle against a system that holds his kids hostage.

Today Monday, April 16th I begin a 31 day fast. It’s the easiest fast I’ve ever seen. Actually it’s just a healthy eating fast. It won’t kill me, I plan to lose those final 10 pounds. The true purpose of this fast is to once and for all  become so confident in what I’ve learned that I stop being, as I’ve heard it explained, “Pitiful, pathetic and broke!”

I’ve committed to myself to record 31 days of lessons. Many are lessons learned since the end of last summer. I’m expecting there to be a few new ones toward the end of the month. After all that is the purpose of this fast. I am very excited! I wish there was a fast forward button I could push, but I’ll just have to wait.

On September 23, 2009 I began this blog as a way to record the ever changing-changes that were happening in the lives of my family and myself. 130 entries later, our lives barely resemble what they were a short 24 months ago.

This past September I felt it was time for some new challenges, new direction, new focus. After much thought, two concepts came to life. The first was to create a blog for kids. A daily collection of Proverbs, written on a level that nine and ten year-olds could read and six and seven year-olds could understand. Last weekend the first post was made to Proverbs for Kids. We were right, kids can read it, younger kids can understand it. Even better – adults are loving it!  www.proverbs4kids.wordpress.com

The second concept, which carries as much excitement for me as Proverbs4Kids does, is Sunday School Theology 101. I have  begun to realize how important – and priceless – the hours were that I spent as a kid in Sunday School. The Old Testament Bible stories that I heard, the lessons learned, and the heroes created, have been stories that have stuck with me through the years. As I  share these stories with new friends, I have also come to realize that those who missed such training in their childhood, have missed a huge part of understanding who God is.  Thus the challenge; to start at Genesis and tell the Old Testament stories that have made such an impact on my life. Bible Stories for Adults, based on Sunday School Theology (no big words!). SST101 will launch next week with the first story found in the book of Genesis – In the beginning…GOD.  www.sst101.wordpress.com

At first, thought this blog was coming to an end…BUT I know that when one begins a new challenge, new discoveries are always right around the corner…I expect I will want to report what I find around those corners!

Something happens to us between being a teenager and having teenagers of our own. What we as teens thought was adventure somehow becomes danger. What we saw as a challenge becomes foolishness. We want to protect our kids from any struggles, any danger; we want them to be on the easy road.

My son had a choice nine months ago to take the easy road. He could have taken one child and ran, but instead he stayed to fight for four. Just this week I found myself saying, “God, please make his road easy.” Then I heard that voice…”Jeannie, why would you want his road to be easy? He didn’t choose the easy one!” He didn’t choose what was easy and as a result, there is going to be struggles. He took the tough road.

If you have started your own business; you’ve taken the tough road.
If you are attempting to break out of a difficult relations – tough road.
If you are determined to free yourself from an addiction – tough road.
If you’re trying to climb out from under piling debt – tough road.

The tough road has many exits, unlike the easy road; who wants to exit that one? For those who have chosen the tough road, I pray that your load is manageable and that you have the strength, endurance, and determination to make it to the end. May you only turn off to rest and never to exit. Tonight I salute those who have decided to take the tough road.