Category: Moments, Thoughts, Life

There’s a story about  a group of men who brought a woman to Jesus claiming that they caught her in the act of adultery. I love this story for many reasons. The first is that is based on a “sin” that we can all agree on. The second is that it’s a woman being blamed and the group of men are religious leaders. It is a picture of the powerful pouncing on the weak and wounded.

Jesus isn’t reactive. He doesn’t argue or debate their theory, he actually affirms their knowledge of the law. He then follows it up by saying, “You who has no sin, throw the first stone…” After, he quietly waits.

The oldest of the religious leaders begin to back away, for they understood the secret of the law; guilty of one, guilty of all. The scene ends with a woman, standing in her guilt, and Jesus. This is the way every story of someone who truly experiences God’s love ends. We don’t need anyone else to point out our sin. It’s just me, standing in my guilt, and Jesus.

“Where have they gone?” he asks. There is no response. “I don’t condemn you either.” This defines love.

At another time, Jesus told his followers that the world would know they were his followers by their love. In the recent week, I doubt that the church at large is known by its love. But this isn’t a new experience, especially to those in the LGBT community; for many, the church has never been a place of love, forgiveness, or no-condemnation.

To my dear friends, co-workers, and family members who have experience anything other than the love Jesus demonstrated by those claiming to be his followers, let me apologize. I pray that you will experience such love in your lifetime. Please remember, if Jesus were walking around on earth today, we’d be the group he would be hanging with; not the arrogant, big mouth, religious condemners who we are all sick of hearing.

To my family members, acquaintances, co-workers who are the arrogant, big mouth, religious condemners who we are all sick of hearing, I pray that you too experience the kind of love Jesus demonstrated. I am confident that once you do, your definition of love will instantly change and you will want nothing more than to share this love. When that happens, let us know, we would love for you to hang out with us!

A recent conversation gave me cause to really think about this question. We currently have our two grandkids with us and at the age of fifty-four, both Jeff and I would agree, now is not the time to have little ones. This could be because there are toys on the living room floor, or juice stains on the carpet, or for the simple reason that as soon as they close their eyes, we can’t wait to do the same.

The reality is kids are only kids for a very short time. It’s a fraction of your life. And of that fraction of time, they are only really cute for about the first six years. After that, it’s a crap shoot.

What we fail to realize is that our kids are adults for a much longer period of time. I recall looking at our first just after he was placed in my arms and thinking, “I can’t wait for you to be twenty, so we can have really good talks.” From the very beginning, I saw my kids as who they would become.

Raising kids to be interesting adults, who are engaged in life with imaginations and interests and friendships and conversation and knowledge and drive and ambition and are people you just want to hang out with, starts shortly after they are born. It requires us to become part of their world instead of forcing them to live within ours. It requires love, guidance, freedom and most importantly being examples of adults who are imaginative, interesting, with a variety of friendships, conversationalist, knowledgeable with drive and ambition.

When to have kids? Whenever you want! But don’t wait too long because, the kid part is gone in a blink. The adult part lasts the rest of your life, and when done well, you won’t want to miss a day of it.

I heard about Re-Birthing while listening to a Nerdist podcast. Jeff Bridges was being interviewed and somewhere in the middle of a story, he took a right turn and ended up in Re-birthing.

The simplistic definition is this: we continually re-live our birth experience all through our life; especially when we are faced with conflict, challenges, and decisions.

I began thinking of my own children’s birth experience. Our oldest was a quiet birth. The nurse checked on us throughout the day, but for the most part, the room was quiet. The Doctor on call was attending his son’s wedding (who does that!); he was not checking in. Labor was most of the day and when it was time, there was no Doctor… so Raun waited … and waited…and waited, until finally the over the limit and not sure how he found the hospital doctor arrived; two minutes later so did he.

This is how Raun approaches life. He is quiet, he waits, he watches, and he waits some more. In fact, he can out wait anyone. His waiting makes you want to take him by the ears and shake him till his brain rattles. If one did this, it’s definite that he would just smile, nod his head in acknowledgment of your frustration, and wait some more. BUT THEN, in an instant, he makes a decision and it’s for life! No more waiting, no more watching, it done, never to be revisited.

Our daughter had a very different experience. Her’s was a difficult birth causing the room to be filled with people and activity. There were two teams of people observing. One team was prepared to step in if things turned bad, and the other if it got really bad. The second group stayed. She had the cord around her neck five times and by the time they freed her, she was as blue as a Smurf.

Austyn lives in a whirlwind of activity. When conflicts arise, she is a fighter. She will do whatever it takes to make it right – she is determined to survive!!

Recently, I asked my mother about her birth experience. Her mother had said she just popped out. I laughed. Mom always thinks things should be easy and no one should have to work hard. In fact, she’ll do everything in her power to stop you from completing a task if she feels it’s too much effort.  As she sat and described my sister’s experience, Sue got very wide eyed and exclaimed, “Wait – that’s exactly how I am!”

My own  birth was also a difficult one, and back then, they just took me away. Mom said she didn’t see me for more than 24 hours. How do I approach life’s struggles? Like my daughter, I too am a fighter, but I do it alone. I would never think of asking for help. I will survive, but you don’t need to help me, I got it. I can figure it out on my own and I am confident that I will make it through.

I’ve not asked my mother-in-law about my husbands birth experience. I don’t want to destroy the  Disney version that plays in my head. I’m sure an evil witch snatched him from the birth canal and strapped him to the back of a broom. She then sped him across the sky, pointing out the great wonders of the world below. She didn’t allow him to stop and enjoy because they were on a very tight schedule. She didn’t allow music on her broom, nor did she allow him to make any noise as they flew. On their short journey she somehow instilled the fear of god (well the other one – the one from below) in him about the dangers of waiting in a queue at a drive-thru. Yep, that explains a lot!!

Re-birthing. It’s an interesting concept. Even more, it makes for great conversation. I’ve yet to find someone whose birth experience doesn’t describe them.

There’s an old saying that mothers never get off the deliver table. Perhaps none of us ever get out of the deliver room.

Nerdist Podcast with Jeff Bridges

I sat in a small sanctuary Sunday morning gazing up at three people huddled together on the platform. My good friend Ros stood on one side; Ros walked into my life – twice – and on the second time, I knew I had better hold on to her. On the other side was Jason, a fellow ex-Starbucks manager. When we managed together, he was getting his doctorate, but I had no idea it was in Theology. In the middle was Jeff, my husband, who was leading the worship this morning. Three people connected to me, now connected to each other, and I had nothing to do with it.

The company I work for is making changes and many may find themselves without a job. I’ve watch the effect this has on my team. There are those that fret about it, others are angry, a few obsess and are driven to figure out all the details before they happen; and then there are a few who peacefully say, “This has been a great ride, and I can’t wait to see where I go next.”

“It’s like taking a taxi ride,” I said. “You get in the back seat, tell the driver where you would like to go and let him get you there the best way he knows how.”

Sometimes the taxi stops and as the driver motions for us to get you out, we say, “Really? This isn’t what I was thinking.” Other times the taxi slows and we feel our hearts beat a little harder, a little faster. “This isn’t where I belong, it’s not even on the right side of town.” But the taxi driver motions for us to get out and we do. As we close the door we poke our head through the window and ask, “When will you be back?”

He just smiles and says, “When I come to get you.”

“When will that be?” we ask.

“Not to worry,” he says. “You focus on giving it your all and taking care of the people around you; I’ll worry about when and where you are going next.”

The three people on the platform all arrived in separate taxis and were willing to get out when the taxi stopped. They came together and I wasn’t driving, I wasn’t figuring it all out, I was enjoying the ride from the backseat.