Category: Family

They steal our hearts as puppies and then become one of the family. Ellie was with us during transitions; moving into the city (Chicago), kids in college, grandchildren, and moving to the beach (Pismo). She had a great life and made ours feel a little more normal. From following Grandma around ’cause she knew she had a Kleenex hidden up her sleeve, to eating at least one sock of everyone who ever spent the night, to gently kissing the heads of the grandkids when they were infants as she check to make sure they were alright, and making sure Jeff got his walk before bed, she was our polar bear. Thanks Ellie for twelve years!!

Austyn recalls…

Knowing we were home by the sound of the Volvo door closing.

Believing that if ever she got out of the condo, she would be at the dog park.

Doing the zooms at the park by the lake and as she arced she would make a B-line towards us and not stop, taking us out once or twice.

Digging into the lucky snow piles that had Kleenex at the bottom of them.

Stealing socks to get our attention.

Watching her dominion from my single bed.

Thinking a horse in the distance was gonna be a really fun dog to play with to only be petrified and crouch as we passed the gigantic creature.

Ellie and I made a trip to the vet yesterday. In her long life, we’ve not made that trip too many times. Sad to say, she won’t be making many more. The large welt on her forehead is a tumor. Pain medication will take the assumed headache away and the lovely vet that we saw, suggested that we start giving her canned dog food. Why? Why not!

Ellie has lived a charmed life. From towering over the corner of Oakdale and Burlington Streets in Chicago to her retirement years on the front porch looking over the Pacific Ocean, it’s been good. As I think of the photos of her life, these are my favorite.

On my last trip to Denver, Emery informed me of this fact several times. “You can’t be bigger than me,” Liam would say, confirming his place in the world. “I’m the oldest.”

On the same visit, Austyn slapped a stack of bills on the table, “Just under $10,000 left of Emery’s medical bills and we’ll be caught up,” she said with great excitement. I even heard a hint of joy in her voice – she always did see the world differently than the rest of us.

It’s no secret that Emery’s journey has been an eventful one. Surgeries, scans, seizures are words that come from the un-happy events. In the past year and a half, we are grateful that these events are falling farther and farther behind us.

What remains are the enormous medical bills that have accrued. Brian and Austyn have carried this load quietly. Their only request of us has been for prayer, never asking for assistance with the ever mounting bills.

This Easter, we thought, is a perfect time to offer assistance. We’re asking all those who have followed Emery’s story to contribute toward eliminating these past medical debts.

Below is a donate button that will take you to a PayPal account set up to go towards Emery’s medical bills. You don’t need a PayPal account, just a credit or debit card. Many have followed Emery’s progress and if each of us were willing to toss in even $25, these debts will vanish.

“I’m gong to be bigger than you Neenee!”

– I have no doubt she will.

~ We thank you in advance for making their future a little less worrisome.

To read more of Emery’s story, visit here.

Emery Rain Ford’s Facebook Page.

As I opened the patio door for Ellie, I grabbed my cup of tea and headed back to bed. I never sleep in, but once in a while the thought of getting back into bed and turning on a favorite episode of Dr. Who is very tempting.

As I pulled the covers up and reached for the remote, I recalled the trucks that were parked out in front of the house. “I think we’re getting a new roof,” I said to Jeff as he finished getting ready for work. I clicked on TV and looked over to the bathroom…

We have three skylights in our house, one in each bathroom and one in the kitchen. Skylights, shower, and roofers…oh my!! I jumped out of bed and into the shower as I heard footsteps above. It was the fastest shower I ever took; dried off and got dressed while still in the shower, protected by the Chicago Metro Map shower curtain. After which I grabbed my luck-warm tea and went to the living room to watch the Doctor in spite of the drilling, scraping, and banging from above.

A short time later I walked into the bathroom – to use it – and I glanced up; shadows of workers were passing over the skylight, “I can’t even pee! What do I do? Do I bring the patio umbrella in here? Maybe if I don’t look up, it won’t be so embarrassing… I’m living in a fishbowl!”

In the kitchen, I heard muffled voices and latino music. It was muffled like when you accidentally call someone then drop your phone into your purse and can hear voices but have no idea where they are coming from. It seemed louder when I stood in the corner, but unless the toaster oven was receiving a single, I had no solution. Then I looked up, squinted my eyes, as if that would help me hear, and realized there was a radio playing on the roof – right next to the skylight. “A fishbowl with latino music…”

On day two of fish bowl life, I got into the shower at 6:30AM to beat the rush. I used someone else’s bathroom late in the morning, but by the time I started dinner, I realized that the men on the roof had a front row seat to my cooking mastery. A lesson in making stuffed peppers to the beat of the local latino radio station while watching a BBC murder mystery.

My fishbowl is so multi-cultural!

I arrived in Denver at 8:30 PM and by the time we got to Brian and Austyn’s home, the two little ones were asleep. I began rehydrating myself (I’ve been here before, the altitude sucks all moisture out of me) and tried to follow the instructions for the following day. Austyn wrote the them on the white board on the wall in the kitchen, at the bottom of the board was written; 7:30 surgery, arrive at 6. This would be Emery’s 15th surgery. But this would be an easy one and I was there to be a distraction.

At 4-something A.M. what appeared to be a 5 year old blob crawled into my bed. We hugged and kissed and pretended that we would fall back asleep. Mom and Dad finished getting ready, they packed a “Just in Case” suitcase, dressed Emery while attempting to keep her asleep. Mom came over for one final hug and kiss and Dad instructed us that we needed to go back to sleep. The front door closed and the 5 year old blob named Liam and I stayed in bed. At 6 we threw off the covers and made our way downstairs for movies and breakfast.

7:30 finally arrived and I watch my phone and computer knowing that Austyn would be posting something. Around 7:40 I text her asking how they were doing, she responded with okay.  By 8:30  the text came that it was over and Emery was doing great. I told the 5 year old and we laughed and clapped and jumped up and down. “Mom, Dad and Emery will be home before you get home from school!” We clapped some more, packed Liam’s lunch box in his back pack and headed off to school. When I returned I had a list of things I wanted to get done before the patient arrived home. First was cleaning up the kitchen. As I opened the silverware drawer this is what I saw:

Then it hit me, this is not normal. None of this is normal. Who categorizes a surgery on a 3 year old as “an easy one”? How many 5 year olds wonder if the next doctors appointment will force him to stay at grandma’s house while mom and dad figure out how to divide their time between a hospital room, work and home for an undetermined amount of time? Who has written on the a white board in the kitchen, Surgery at 7:30 arrive at 6? How many homes have an abundance of child syringes in their silverware drawer? Nope, this just isn’t normal.

We’re not alone in our journey, Children’s Hospitals around the world are filled with sick children. Children whose lives are not normal. Families who not only carry the burden of knowing what the next medical procedure will be but also the weight of how they will ever pay for it. If you know how to extend the day by about 24 hours, that would be helpful. If you know how to clone these parents so they can actually get through a day without being exhausted, that would be helpful. If you could just make their child well, or at least normal, that would be greatly appreciated.

What can you do to lighten their load – write a simple note, include some cash and mail it off to them. Don’t wait for tax deduction, or a non-profit to collect, or someone to set up a donation hot line; find a family in need and start helping! It takes cash to fill the gas tank for those doctor appointments. Medications are expensive.

If you live anywhere near normal give out of a grateful heart. Give because you are fortunate enough to not have mounting medical bills. Give because you have time in your day to sit on the sofa and watch a football game. Give because you want to help someone who didn’t ask to be dealt the hand they’ve been given. Give because you are grateful for the somewhat normal child that runs through your house and the biggest problem you face is choose where to go to eat.

Give because you care…those who live in the not-normal world will be ever so grateful…but don’t expect a thank you card, they are way too busy for that!

The first night of our road trip was quite eventful. About an hour after falling asleep I was awakened by Emery’s cough as she slept next to me. I said her name and Austyn bolted over to our bed. For the next few minutes I took the supporting role as Austyn instructed me what to do when Emery has a seizure. We weren’t practicing, it was happening.

It’s odd to be watching your kid taking care of her kid with the calm and assurance you once had while dealing with her, but am now unable to find the medicine bag or look up a pharmacy phone number. Austyn was brilliant and within moments Emery was calm and fast asleep.

A few phone conversations later and I was off to one of the only two 24 hours Walgreens in Des Moines. The Pharmacist was kind. In order to pick up Emery’s meds, I had to enter the last 4 digits of the phone number on file. It’s 12:00 a.m. how should I know the number on file. Assuming it was my son-in-law’s I found his number in my phone and completed the phone quiz portion of the evening. But there were two prescriptions and I had to do it once again. This time the nice Pharmacist assisted by giving me the answer. We said good night and I was back in the car taking the scenic tour of Des Moines at 12:20 a.m.

Returning to the hotel, some other guest had filled my parking space forcing me to circle a few times. Besides the available spots located on the furthest end of the parking lot was one spot next to the front door with a sign: “Reserved for the Guest of the Week.” I pulled in assuming that the “Guest of the Week” had left.

As I entered the hotel I confessed to the young man behind the counter, inquiring if I would get in trouble for parking there. He responded, “Not if you’re the Guest of the Week. Congratulations!” We both laughed and I walked up stairs.

Five hours later we were up and preparing for the day; two kids that were all smiles as they talked about going to Chicago and the next hotel, both clueless of the previous nights events, and two tired moms who had shared an experience one won’t ever forget.