Blog

Posted on

Motto

I’ve assisted family members as they began the process of cleaning out, downsizing, and organizing their stuff. I enjoy it. Yes, there are times I would like to throw them in the dumpster with their crap, but there is a great feeling when a once full, unorganized, messy area becomes clean, clear and livable.  My sister and I have talked about starting a company that helps people get organized. We never came up with a great name for the company, however I came up with our motto; We make your shit look attractive.

I love that motto. I think it describes what drives us most of our lives. The entire marketing world is based on that concept. Most managers are challenged to accomplish this for the company that employs them. A great sale person excels in this area.

When we find ourselves in a situation where we have to be honest, to tell the truth, or when we feel the need to come clean, we are driven to make our confession as ‘nice’ as possible. Making our screw-ups sound as ‘good’ as within our power to sound; finding all the reasons and outside forces that cause us to act in such a way.

Once you realize the humor in this behavior, you begin to see it everywhere. If you haven’t been aware of it, take a listen.  Making shit look attractive takes very little talent, but those with experience in this area are very entertaining.

Posted on

OW

I was sitting on the playroom floor when my 17 month old grandson threw a small plastic ball at me.  Actually it was a small plastic rock that came with his nifty little front loader that I just happened to buy him, but it looked like a ball. He nailed me right between the eyes. It was like David and Goliath. Only I yelled, “OW!” and fell over laughing. From that moment on, this new game of throwing the ball at people was called, OW. No matter what Liam was throwing, if he was aiming it at a person, he would yell “OW!” as he threw it.

Of course it got worse, because the more he yelled, OW! the more we laughed and the harder he would throw.  I knew I had screwed this kid up for life. He had learned a new word but it was the wrong definition. A few months later he got a little closer to the true definition, well not really. Liam began to use the word OW whenever he felt he was being made to do something he didn’t want to, such as, being buckled into the shopping cart. As daddy would buckle him in, Liam would begin yelling, “OW! OW! OW!” as if he was being tortured. Getting buckled into the car seat produced the same response. It’s one thing to be on the floor of the playroom using the wrong definition, but being out in public draws a whole new level of interest in the wee one who is dramatically pleading, “OW! OW! OW!”

How would we ever re-teach him the meaning of OW? I’m thinking he’ll have to discover it on his own. One day when he is truly hurt, someone will say OW and he’ll put it together. It made me think of how many words I’ve had to re-learn: wealth, safety, success, happy, love, trust, commitment, to name just a few. What experiences did I have to go through before I began to understand the meaning of trust? How much did I have to lose to understand wealth? How old was I when I began to know what love looked like? And as for the meaning of life, that definition changes frequently.

At first OW was a game. It than became an uncomfortable situation. Some day it will really mean pain. It’s part of growing up. It’s part of life. Perhaps the wisdom we gain as we age isn’t really wisdom. Maybe it’s just the right definitions.

Posted on

A brilliant five-year old

If you listen close enough, life provides the entertainment…

Chase:  Grandma, I know how to spell mom… MOM.

Grandma:  That’s right. Did you know that mom is the same if you spell it forwards or backwards? It’s just like DAD.

Dad:  That’s called a Palindrome.  Race Car is another one.

Grandma:  hmmm….you’re right.

Chase:  Race car is my password on the computer. The next time I’m on the computer, can I just type mom?

Grandma & Dad: hmmmmm……

If a five-year old can figure out that A = B and B = C   so A must = C. Why do we have to teach it in highschool?

Posted on

SSS

There’s nothing I can do. ~ I can’t say anything. ~ I knew something was wrong.

There exists a four letter word that prevents us from doing what is right. It keeps us from speaking up, from shedding light on dark secrets, from helping those who find themselves incapable of helping themselves. FEAR holds us back.

I’ve experienced firsthand the harmful effects when fear prevents us from speaking up.  I’m always amazed when I hear someone say,  “I didn’t want to say anything”. Really?

We live in a world where phone calls can be made, reports can be issued and conversations can be had under the protection of something called – anonymous.

When I find myself in a situation where I think…or I assume…or I KNOW something is not right, I fast forward the scene to a court room. I am sitting in the witness-box and the questions are being asked; “Did you know? And if so, why didn’t you say something?” If I answer yes to the first question, three letters pop into my head; SSS. This is followed by a loud voice shouting; SAY SOMETHING STUPID!!!

Say something. Say anything. Pick up the phone and make a call. Talk to the school. Talk to the police department. Ask questions at the mental health hotline. Tell your story to whomever you can. Ask for assistance. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Don’t stop until you feel you are exhausted and then…tell one more person. Who knows, you may hold the last piece of the puzzle the authorities are waiting for. You may be the missing link that gives them the authority to act. You may hold the key. You may be the person a child is praying for; the one person that is going to help them get out of their situation.

So if you’ve been watching, not knowing if you should get involve………SAY SOMETHING STUPID!

And then ask yourself when it was that you become afraid of doing what is right?

Posted on

All My Favorite People

Opened a new CD today from what is becoming one of my favorite artists, Over the Rhine – the words say it all.

Take a minute and listen…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc7mg-rQcmw

All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know.

Some prayers are better left unspoken
I just wanna hold you
and let the rest go.

All my friends are part saint and part sinner
We lean on each other
Try to rise above.
We’re not afraid to admit we’re all still beginners
We’re all late bloomers
When it comes to love.

Orphaned believers, skeptical dreamers
Stop forward
You can stay right here
You don’t have to go.

Is each wound you’ve received
Just a burdensome gift?
It gets so hard to lift
Yourself up off the ground.

But the poet says, we must praise the mutilated world
We’re all workin’ the graveyard shift
You might as well sing along.

All my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know.

As for your tender heart –
This world’s gonna rip it wide open
It ain’t gonna be pretty
But you’re not alone.

‘Cause all my favorite people are broken
Believe me
My heart should know.

Orphaned believers, skeptical dreamers
You’re welcome
Yeah, you’re safe right here
You don’t have to go.

‘Cause all my favorite people are broken
Believe me
I should know.

Some prayers are better left unspoken
I just wanna hold you
And let the rest go

All My Favorite People ~  Linford Detweiler  ~  The Long Surrender ~ Over the Rhine

Posted on

Everyone’s watching.

I grew up in a world where we were told that everyone was watching us. That’s a lot of responsibility to place on a kid. I’ve come to realize that there are many who also grew up under such pretense. I’m guessing that most kids grew up being told that somewhere, someone was watching their every move. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized there really aren’t too many people left to actually watch, since we all have our eyes on our selves.

I have been watching someone very closely these past few weeks. As my son Raun has made steps to become free from an abusive relationship and begin to build a new life for his children, I’ve not only been watching him, but those around him.

What am I seeing? Adults who grew up in similar situations and are experiencing healing as they watch someone making decisions they prayed would have been made for them. There are those who grew up desperately wanting a Daddy who would stand up and fight for them; they too are beginning to heal as they watch someone actually do it. I’ve heard from individuals as they explain the rarity of a man fighting for children that are not his, giving them hope in their world that are filled with selfishness and self-centeredness.

So I guess people are watching us. But they are not watching the performance. They are watching the real us, the us that isn’t putting on a show. They are watching the decisions that are made when we are simply doing what we feel IS the right thing. Perhaps people begin to watch us when we stop rolling out our own red carpet. Maybe others begin to watch when we stop blinding them with our personal spotlights.

We need to stop asking who’s watching us.  A much better question to begin asking ourselves would be; who am I watching out for?