Author: jeanniebruenning

After driving all night Brian and his friend Evan arrived early Friday morning. On Saturday we would load up Austyn and they would head back to Colorado. Brian and Austyn had known each other for a year and a half but had not spent much more than a weekend together. They needed to be in the same city before they walked down the aisle and say “this is forever.” Her future in-laws had been looking for apartments with short term leases and a week before the planned move had found a two bedroom condo with a lease through July. It fit perfectly into their plans.

She was packed; boxes were everywhere. One stack was what she would take now. One stack would be kept by us until she and Brian were back in the states. Another stack was all her photography equipment; two computers, cameras, lenses, paper, printer and a collection of work.

It hadn’t been an easy week for either Austyn or I. Jeff had been gone the entire week and would be back Friday night. Austyn and I had spent the past evenings talking, hugging and crying, knowing how much we would miss each other. I never knew how deep a mother – daughter relationship could grow. We are buddies, encouragers, dreamers, positive thinkers and each other’s accountability. That daily connection was about to change. We would be left with phone calls and email.

Saturday morning came and we began to load the truck. At one point I was left in the apartment alone. I stopped and looked around. My world was changing. My oldest had already relocated to Wisconsin, Austyn’s things were in the apartment for the last time. It would not be too much longer and this would be an empty space waiting for it’s new owners. This is so much more than one is able to process. I stood in the dinning room, leaning against the windowsill with tears streaming down my face.

It did not take long to pack the truck with the things from the condo. We made our way to the storage unit for the final boxes. Austyn and I left the guys behind and ran some errands. When we returned the truck was packed and it was time to say good-bye. There were lots of hugs. “Take care of her” was all I could get out as I hugged Brain good-bye. Jeff and I got in the car and headed back to our very empty and quiet condo. Again Austyn was gone, she had left so many times before and fortunately she would be back again soon. College graduation was just a few weeks away.

My Mother was turning 80 and at the last minute had planned a weekend in Chicago with her only sister Meryle, myself and my two sisters. My Mom and her sister arrived at Union Station on Amtrack Friday night. It would be the first time my aunt had come to visit us in the city. My mother and her sister had grown up in Chicago, just about six blocks north of where we live. It was very exciting for them to be back in the old neighborhood.

There were general plans made for the weekend. The schedule was not packed full – after all it takes time to get from one place to another with an eighty and eighty-four year old.

A few dinners, a little shopping and a little sightseeing. Always planning time to return to the hotel for anyone who needed a rest.

We took the bus to Millennium Park to see the famous Bean, Buckingham Fountain and the lake. We walked down Michigan Avenue as mom pointed out historical buildings. The birthday weekend was full of laughter, conversations and photo opportunities.

There is a joke among my sisters and I about our growing up years. Our mother was never heard saying the word breast. We grew up with chicken “chests” not chicken
breasts.” In fact this information has spread out to our circle of friends and you will commonly hear one of them order chicken “chest” at dinner. As the waitress stood at the end of the table making her recommendations for the Lemon Chicken “Breast,” my mother held out her hands as if she was holding something and asked; “how big are the breasts?” It sent us all into uncontrollable laughter. My sister stood to her feet, hands in the air and announced; “Hallelujah, she’s been freed”. The laughter continue for what seemed hours. Unable to catch our breath we laughed from our souls. We had grown up referring to chicken breasts as with chicken chests our whole life and today Mom could finally say “breasts.
People can change…at the age of eighty.

We watch the relationship between two sisters, how one dominated the other and knew how to push all the buttons. We took turns walking slowly with our aunt. Each time someone new joined our little group we immediately paired them up, allowing the newest member of the group the opportunity to walk slowly. We ordered $9 drinks that could fit in a shot glass and consumed all the free birthday deserts we could get. “We are celebrating her 80^th birthday” became the opening remarks to the waitress, hoping it would get us a free desert at the end of the meal.

The weekend ended quickly. There are so many changes ahead for all of us.  Couple this with the joy of being with these two lovely ladies in their eighties and it is a good reminder to make the most of being together. This has been a memorable weekend and perhaps the last time this group would party in the city of Chicago.

We had planned to spend Easter weekend in Wisconsin. Knowing we would be on our way to California soon we wanted to spend as much time with Raun, Pam and the kids as possible. The car was rented and we loaded up on Friday morning. Raun and Pam were on their way back from the funeral in Indiana. It was snowing slightly in the city and the forecast called for large amounts of snow by late afternoon. We had hopes of being ahead of the storm. The first thirty minutes was smooth sailing, then it hit. What should have been a fifteen minute drive took us over an hour and a half. We stopped for gas and decided to turn around. Disappointed and frustrated we returned to the city.

It was around 6:00 that evening when the front door buzzed. Two beeps, it was Raun and Pam. They had also been delayed, cell phones dead and exhausted. We went for a burger and let them talk, and talk they did. This was not going to be an easy transition. There were a multitude of emotions ranging from guilt to anger and back again. This was all so very complicated. His children, her children, life insurance, social security, police reports, court dates. It was overwhelming to hear and even more overwhelming to imagine having to deal with it.

We encouraged them to spend the night but they both wanted to get home. The next morning the weather had cleared. The city had not received the bulk of the snow, it had hit the north suburbs hard. Austyn and I decide to try our trip again. We called around for car rentals. Fortunately the storm had prevented others from their trips as it had us, so cars were available. We rented the first car we found, loaded it up and headed north. We would spend the weekend in Wisconsin and make ourselves available in any way that we could.

We had not had much of a chance to spent time with the children, I was hoping this weekend would allow for that. We had planned Easter dinner at Grandma Gregg’s. Pam felt she needed to stay home but Raun brought the kids over and we played.

Grandma’s house is laid out great for hide and seek. We even got the older cousins involved. During one of the rounds, it was suggested to Chase that he hide under the bed. As the seeker entered the room calling out, “Chase where are you?” he actually answered. “I”m under here.” We all had a great laugh. I fell in love with these three children that night. Raun had told me numerous times that they could all be his and it was evident. They loved him and he was their anchor. They obeyed what he said and ran to him if they needed something. They had bonded.

As the evening came to an end we at on the sofa for some pictures. Sage, the middle one was standing next to me. I looked at her and asked, “Now will you remember me when I talk to you one the phone?” Sage replied very honestly, “No. What’s your name again?” Clearly it would take longer then a few hours for us to bond. I would be heading back to Chicago tomorrow and be known as Raun’s mom…grandma would have to wait.

They say there are four major stress factors in our lives; marriage, new job, moving and death. Up to this point we had three of the four. Austyn took care of the marriage part. The new job had already started for Jeff and moving was inevitable. As a fellow employee said so reassuringly; “Knock on wood that you won’t experience the fourth.”

At 5:45am on the Monday before Easter my phone rang. By the tone I knew it was Raun. I answered as most moms would at that time of day, “What’s wrong”.

“Mom I can’t believe it. Pam just left for her mom’s. The kid’s father was killed early this morning.” Raun and Pam were now living together in Wisconsin. She and her ex were beginning a custody battle. He was currently living in Indianapolis with his new wife. He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a senseless robbery/murder.

Arrangements, funeral and a thousand questions. How would Pam cope with this. One day she is preparing for a custody battle with this man. The next morning she is on her way to Indianapolis to help with his funeral arrangements.

No one is sure how they will respond to the death. When someone is ill there is time to prepare for the end. This was a young man with three beautiful children who just happened to be in the wrong place and lost his life for a meaningless robbery. A thousand questions and a million emotions flooded everyone. It was a very unsettling time.

During my one week in San Luis Obispo, we had found a development that we felt very comfortable in. The development would be under construction for the next year which gave us the freedom to buy when we were ready. It seemed very easy. We liked the units and could see ourselves living there for the next 5 to 10 years. It would eliminate house shopping and trying to orchestrate the timing of closings.

I had checked the website regularly to keep an eye on the development and the pricing. From time to time they would offer a huge discount on the last unit. Seeing those prices made me anxious and I stopped looking until this particular Wednesday morning.

I pulled up the website and saw the words “reduced for quick sale”. Listed was the unit we had fallen in love with and the price had dropped $70,000. I emailed the Realtor we had met and asked if she had time to look into it.

The next day she emailed me pictures and an explanation. This would be the last unit of that style built this year. All the other units in the group were sold and they wanted to make sure this was sold as well. It won’t be ready until the end of August. Send a deposit and they will hold it for you. It seemed like a no brainier; the price was within our budget and the timing was perfect. Come to find out, the new price had been posted on Tuesday, I looked at the site on Wednesday and by Thursday we were faxing agreements back and forth. By the next weekend I had an email congratulating us on the purchase. It appeared all was settled.

Our worst week of the year flowed into the following week. The tile installer was kind enough to work on Sunday, returning on Monday to make sure all was well. That afternoon Jeff and Austyn were the first home. By the time I arrived home most of the condo was put back together. No more drop cloths or tools. The kitchen appliances were out of the dinning room and back in their proper places in the kitchen. the dining room table was centered under the candelabra. It was home again.

As we sat on the sofa enjoying the order that had been given back to us Austyn turned to me and said, “By the way there was a turkey in the oven.”

I was following a very healthy diet program since the beginning of the year in hopes that I could make it through this year of change and remain healthy. Part of the diet was turkey, so each week I would roast a turkey portion it out for my lunches. Because our place was so small and our 70 pound lab-retriever loved turkey, I had gotten in to the habit of placing the turkey carcass back in the oven to cool before I threw it out. Apparently with all the commotion of the week I had failed to toss that carcass out before the kitchen was emptied out for the tile installation.

“Turkey in the oven? I can’t believe it didn’t start to smell in here.” We laughed at the thought of a turkey rotting away inside the stove that had been sitting in the middle of our dining room for the past week.

“Well, what’s for dinner?” was the question. Well, I can tell you it would not be. It would not be turkey.