Son, before we look at who you should seek out, let’s look at a few things you need to remember. Queen Mum may be referring to those I call “Life Suckers”. They are those who enter a room and immediately drain it of its energy. They are the ones who manipulate your time and expect you to be consumed with their personal problems, while never taking the initiative to fix their problems or get on with their life. They are the ones that when they have exhausted your energy, they easily and quickly move on to someone else. They are self- centered, self-serving, in other words, they are selfish. They take your strength from you.

1. Who are the life suckers in your life?

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who wants you opposed to someone who needs you? Feeling needed is wonderful, it fulfills our personal desire to be important. It also requires something of us. We are needed for a reason. We are needed to fulfill an existing void. Something changes inside when we feel wanted. In a strange way, it frees us. In some ways it energizes us. Needing takes our strength, Wanting strengthens us. Don’t give your strength away. How profound.

Nor your ways to the pleasures of kings.

Kings can have whatever they want. For those of us outside the castle, this sounds pretty good. For those who have lived in a world where anything and everything they desire is at beckoning call, they know the dangers.

Son (or Daughter) don’t waste your strength, choose your relationships wisely. Don’t waste what riches you have been given, don’t allow them to ruin you.

1. What in your life waists your strength?

Don’t Lose Control

It is not for king, Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, neither is strong drink for rulers. Lest he drink and forget what was made law, and change the judgment of all the impoverished. Give strong drink to the one who is perishing and wine to those of bitter soul. Let him drink and forget his poverty, and let him remember his misery no more.

Although many would like to separate these verses, I’m not sure they should be. The first verse is a statement, the second is a reason, and the next two are examples for Lemuel to compare himself to.

There is a point for everyone who consumes alcohol when they lose control. That point for each differs; however, the result is the same. Queen Mum is not focused on the recklessness that crossing over the line causes, she is focused on those who may be affected by a king who crosses that line. Her concern is for those who need their king to be wise.

We loose control in so many ways; anger, eating, health, money, time, to name but a few.

Who should consume strong drink? It should be given to those who are at the end of their lives, those who have allowed bitterness to consume them, and those who are in poverty. Why? So they can forget their situation.

She doesn’t instruct Lemuel not to be like the dying, the bitter, and those impoverished. She doesn’t need to. She is instructing him to take care of them, and in doing so, to be different than them.

Speak Out

Open your mouth for those who cannot speak for themselves, to the cause of all whose help has passed. Open your mouth, judge justly and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Lemuel, one last thing before we talk about who you want as a partner, be a good person. There would be no greater epitaph then this: He protected those who are unable to protect themselves. He helped those who felt helpless. He judged justly. He pleaded the case for the poor and needy.

Although this was given to a young man who would become king, these are words for all. Before we go looking at someone else’s qualities, let’s make sure we have the basics covered. If there were no other instructions given in scripture, these two verses give us a life time of opportunity.

Yes, Lemuel, before we look at your partner, let me give you one final instruction about your own character, be a good man.

The Real Woman