I grew up in a world where we were told that everyone was watching us. That’s a lot of responsibility to place on a kid. I’ve come to realize that there are many who also grew up under such pretense. I’m guessing that most kids grew up being told that somewhere, someone was watching their every move. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized there really aren’t too many people left to actually watch, since we all have our eyes on our selves.
I have been watching someone very closely these past few weeks. As my son Raun has made steps to become free from an abusive relationship and begin to build a new life for his children, I’ve not only been watching him, but those around him.
What am I seeing? Adults who grew up in similar situations and are experiencing healing as they watch someone making decisions they prayed would have been made for them. There are those who grew up desperately wanting a Daddy who would stand up and fight for them; they too are beginning to heal as they watch someone actually do it. I’ve heard from individuals as they explain the rarity of a man fighting for children that are not his, giving them hope in their world that are filled with selfishness and self-centeredness.
So I guess people are watching us. But they are not watching the performance. They are watching the real us, the us that isn’t putting on a show. They are watching the decisions that are made when we are simply doing what we feel IS the right thing. Perhaps people begin to watch us when we stop rolling out our own red carpet. Maybe others begin to watch when we stop blinding them with our personal spotlights.
We need to stop asking who’s watching us. A much better question to begin asking ourselves would be; who am I watching out for?